Fear Me

 Fear

✍🏻: Sheng Sebuja

What Is Fear and Why Do We Face It?

Psychology defines fear as a basic human emotion triggered by a perceived threat—whether real or imagined—that activates both physiological and emotional responses. But for me, fear is something deeper. It’s that unsettling feeling we get when we think about outcomes that might not meet our expectations. It’s the disappointment when reality hits harder than we imagined. That’s why people say, “Expectation vs. reality hits different.”

But here’s the question, if fear makes us uncomfortable, why do we need to face it at all? Why not skip the hard part? Why not take the easier route and avoid the challenge altogether?

Some people think it’s better to take the shortcut or run from what scares them. But the truth is, facing our fears is one of the most important steps toward growth. It challenges us, shapes us, and teaches us independence. When we confront what we’re afraid of, we learn something powerful: that even in difficulty—even when scared—we can rise.

And one day, you’ll look back and say, “I was once terrified of this. I didn’t want to take the risk. But I’m glad I didn’t let fear win, because it turns out, it was the right decision.” It’s like having a realization: This is me now—stronger, braver, and proud of how far I’ve come.

Personal Stories

The Dream I Never Thought I Could Reach

Back in 7th grade, I didn’t really care about my grades. But then I realized—because of my classmates—that if I had the potential to do better, why not try? I started aiming higher and became an honor student from Grade 7 to Grade 9.

By 10th grade, I set a bold goal: to become the Top 1. Honestly, I felt it was too ambitious. I was just an average student, and I didn’t think I could compete with the best in our class. But I faced that fear. I studied late into the night, poured myself into every project, and did my best in class.

When the time came to announce the Valedictorian, I had already accepted that I might not make it. I was okay with that. But you know what? If it’s meant for you, it will come. And guess what? I graduated as the Junior High School Valedictorian.

Believing in yourself—even when fear whispers that you can’t—changes everything. Failure doesn’t define you. It just shows that there’s still space for improvement and growth.

Senior High: When You Don't Expect It but Deserve It Anyway

In 12th grade, I told myself not to expect too much. I thought I made too many mistakes to graduate with the highest honors. But then my adviser told me something that stuck with me:

“You are always blessed, you know why? Because you believe in yourself. You don’t just rely on God—you also put in the work because you want it.”

Those words pushed me forward. I gave it my best, and though it was tough, I graduated as the Senior High School Valedictorian. It wasn’t about being perfect—it was about being persistent.

We often imagine the worst: “If I try, I’ll fail.” But that’s fear talking. You should still be proud of yourself for trying. Trying means you're figuring yourself out. And next time, you’ll be better prepared—with more experience and more courage.

Choosing a Course Full of Fear

When I enrolled in my course—Bachelor of Science in Fisheries—I knew it would be heavy in science. And I hated science. I wasn’t good at it. I cried many nights thinking about studying Organic Chemistry, Biochemistry, Microbiology, Ichthyology, and more.

But I disciplined myself. I faced those subjects. I attended the classes, even when I felt weak and lost. And now? I love them. They’re part of my life and my journey.

Don’t quit just because you’re afraid. You’re not “bobo” (dumb) if you struggle. That’s just fear speaking. Subjects can be learned slowly. With time, your brain will adapt, and so will you. Yes, school is hard. College is draining. But this struggle is temporary. Fear of failure is all in your head. With effort, fear fades—and success takes its place.

I Can't Swim, but I'm a Scuba Diver

I don’t know how to swim—and I’m a Fisheries student expected to explore underwater.

During our scuba diving training, I approached my diving master and admitted, “Sir, I don’t know how to swim.”

He replied, “There are licensed divers who can’t swim, but they made it. I know you can too. Walk in the pool. Befriend the water. You’ll adapt—and one day, you’ll love it.”

It was tough. I was the only one in our section who couldn’t swim. But guess what? Pressure is a privilege. During our underwater demo, I volunteered to go first. I completed the 2-day training. My instructor was so proud—because the one who couldn’t swim was the first to dive, and even geared up without help.

When the final open-water dive came, I cried. I stood at the edge for the giant stride into the deep sea and said to myself, “Kaya ko ‘to. This will be over in 15 minutes. And I will be a certified diver.”

I was scared of the ocean. I was scared of swimming pools. But now, I’m a certified scuba diver. And I am so proud of myself.

Whatever you’re afraid of—don’t let fear make the decisions. Don’t say, “I can’t,” just because you're scared. That fear? That’s your sign. That’s the thing you should do. Step out of your comfort zone and meet the real world—even if it’s hard. That’s where you’ll grow. That’s how you become stronger and more independent. Because the truth is: You can do it. And you will.

Fear of the NC II Exam: From Doubt to Confidence

I remember feeling terrified before taking the Aquaculture NC II exam. The testing site was far from home, and I kept thinking, What if I fail? It felt like everything—the money, the effort, the time—would all go to waste if I didn’t pass. That fear weighed heavily on me.

But instead of letting it consume me, I sought help. I asked my teachers for advice and encouragement. They all said the same thing:

“This is a big opportunity—grab it. Not everyone is given the chance to take the NC II exam. Yes, it’s risky. Yes, money matters. But your knowledge is your weapon. Trust in what you’ve learned, and use it to pass.”

Their words were like a light in the darkness. I felt relieved and empowered. So I took the leap—I faced my fear and took the exam. And guess what? I passed. I became a certified NC II Aquaculture holder.

Even during the exam, people were there to support me. I remember the assistant of the assessor asking me random questions to help jog my memory. He smiled and said,

“I’m totally sure you’ll pass this.”

That encouragement meant so much. Even when I was scared to board the cargo ship and sail through big waves just to reach the exam site, I reminded myself that fear is part of the journey, and I handled it. After everything, I looked back and told myself, “Maybe I was a bit harsh on myself. But the pressure helped. And it was all worth it.”

Sometimes, we don’t realize that it’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t mean we’re weak. It means we’re brave enough to say, “I want to grow. I want to fly—even without wings.” And we’re lucky if we have people around us who are willing to catch us, support us, and cheer us on.

Steps to Face Fear and Move Forward

1. Understand the Root of Your Fear

Ask yourself: Why am I afraid?

Is it because the weight of the decision is too heavy? Are you standing at the edge, unsure whether one step forward will bring success—or one step back will bring regret?

Before you act, pause and reflect. Evaluate the situation. Will this decision hurt you or someone else? Will it help you grow?

The most important part? Be kind to yourself. Fear is normal, but you don’t need to punish yourself for feeling it.

2. Accept All Possible Outcomes—Good or Bad

Sometimes we make the wrong decision because fear clouded our judgment. And that’s okay. Every successful person has stumbled, made mistakes, and experienced failure.

Mistakes are not dead ends—they’re turning points. They teach us. They strengthen us. If you fail today, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you tried—and you now have more knowledge for tomorrow.

And remember: It’s okay even when it doesn’t feel okay. You’ll find your way again. There’s always another path, another door, another opportunity.

3. Take Courage and Don’t Feed the Fear

Fear doesn’t go away by itself. It grows when we keep telling ourselves, “I can’t do this because I’m scared.” But if you flip the script and say, “I’m scared, but I’ll try anyway,” that’s when the shift begins.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s doing the thing despite the fear.

The more you take risks, the more your confidence builds. You’ll get used to the discomfort. And eventually, you’ll crave that thrill, that fear—because now, you know it means something big and beautiful is on the other side.

4. Visualize Your Success

Before you even take the first step, see yourself winning. Close your eyes and imagine the moment after you succeed—how proud you’ll feel, how much you’ll grow, how far you’ll have come. Visualization isn’t just a mindset tool; it’s a form of preparation. When your mind believes it’s possible, your actions start to align with that vision.

Fear often clouds our view with worst-case scenarios. But what if you started picturing the best-case scenario instead? Shift your focus. Replace doubt with determination. Let your dreams be louder than your fears.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

You don’t need to wait for the “big victory” to feel proud. Every small win—waking up early, studying for an extra hour, showing up despite anxiety, trying even when it’s hard—is worth celebrating.

When you acknowledge your progress, you build confidence. And when you build confidence, fear starts to shrink. Success isn’t always loud or grand. Sometimes, it’s silent progress in private moments. Recognize those wins. You deserve to be proud of every step forward.

Love Yourself Through the Fear

Life is tough—and that’s normal. Every day is a battle. But just because you face giant rocks and tangled wires on your path doesn’t mean you should retreat to your shell and wait forever for the way to clear.

If you really want something, you’ll find a way. Even if it means sacrifice. Even if it means facing your fear. Your willpower will light the way.

But in the middle of all this, don’t forget to love yourself. Take care of your mind and body. You are the only one who truly knows what you’re going through. And when you say, “I’m okay,” it’s not just about physical strength. It’s about emotional courage too.

Fear is part of your story—but it doesn’t have to be the end. You’re allowed to feel scared. You’re also allowed to rise anyway.

✿⁠ sheng✧